Faux Pas not letting you sleep?

It is only natural for team members, colleagues and industry experts to be curious about their leader’s views on various situations facing businesses and industry at large. After all a leader is expected to set the vision and direction that would have far reaching impact. Therefore their opinion on key issues matters. 

However, for someone transitioning from a world of following processes perfectly to the world of charting unknown territory a.k.a leadership, this can seem daunting. How do we bear the burden of knowing everything and showing the right path all the time? What if we are wrong? And being wrong in the hindsight is one thing. But what if we are factually wrong in the here and now and someone calls it out? Is it the end of the vision we want to make a reality? Is it the end of the support we are garnering? 

I know what it feels like first hand. I was presenting at a prominent conference and at the end of my presentation, I was asked to quantify something impacting the efficacy of digital advertising. In hindsight, there was no objective answer to that question. But I wanted to do my best. I relied on the data from the last few digital campaigns that I had observed and went ahead to state the number. It created a furore. I defended it to the best of my ability, only to find out later, how incorrect I was.  

Unfortunately, I didn’t know how to deal with it. While the pain and embarrassment of making a public faux pas was bad enough, the self-doubt and sadness of losing confidence of those depending on me, engulfed me for a very long time. But this was before, I read Hit Refresh by Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft.

In his book he says, “We need to be willing to lean into uncertainty, to take risks, and to move quickly when we make mistakes, recognising failure happens along the way to mastery. Sometimes it feels like a bird learning to fly. You flap around for a while, and then you run around. Learning to fly is not pretty but flying is.”

He then goes on to give an example of what “flapping around” looks like. At one of the prominent events celebrating women in computing, he was asked what advice he had for women seeking a pay raise who are not comfortable asking? He relied on his discussion with an earlier president of Microsoft to answer this question. He replied, “It’s not really about asking for the raise but knowing and having faith that the system will actually give you the right raises as you go along. And that might be one of the additional superpowers that women who don’t ask for the raise have, because that’s good karma. It will come back. Long term efficiency solves it.” This response was widely criticised. In Satya’s words, “The criticism, deserved and biting, came swiftly through waves of social media, international radio, TV and newspaper coverage.”

I can only imagine Satya’s embarrassment and frustration for blundering, especially on an issue where he genuinely wanted to make a difference. But it’s what he did next that inspired me. It is a lesson for all leaders and those transitioning into leadership. 

• Satya says, “I was frustrated, but I also was determined to use this incident to demonstrate what a growth mindset looks like under pressure.”
• With that attitude, a few hours later, he shot off an email to everyone in the company. He encouraged them to watch the video and he was quick to point out that he had answered the question all wrong. He unambiguously stated his support for programs at Microsoft and in the industry that bring more women into technology and close the pay gap. And said in as many words that, “if women thought they deserved a raise, they should just ask”. 
• A few days later, in his regular “all – employee Q & A” call, he apologised and explained that he had received this advice from his mentors but it underestimated exclusion and bias – conscious and unconscious. 
• He backed up his statements with concrete actions. Microsoft is driving real change in this area by linking executive compensation to diversity progress, investing in diversity programs and sharing data publicly about pay equity for gender, racial and ethnic minorities.

He goes on to say in the book, “In some ways, I’m glad I messed up in such a public forum because it helped me confront an unconscious bias I didn’t know I had, and it helped me find a new sense of empathy for the great women in my life and at my company”.

“Learning to fly is not pretty but flying is.”

Satya Nadella in Hit Refresh

The above incident taught me many lessons. 

• Even the best of us make mistakes. We can have the right vision, the right intentions and actions to back it up, but despite our best efforts, there will be areas where we can learn. And it’s OK!
• It’s ok provided, we are honest with ourselves. We recognise our mistakes, be humble, learn our lessons and take actions to right the wrong
• It calls for courage and vulnerability to accept we are wrong. But this honesty is what makes our teams, partners and colleagues continue to place their trust in us. This honesty ensures them that their leader is committed to the vision and an error here and there is not what will derail their dreams
• It also infuses the team with courage and creativity. When the culture is such that mistakes are considered as stepping stone, people are relaxed, open to experimenting, taking bigger risks and are open to sharing what went wrong which furthers learning. 

For me personally, reading Satya’s story helped me put this incident behind me, gave me the comfort to admit that I don’t know everything and more important, filled me with enthusiasm to “flap around”…. I am sure, I’ll love it when I fly high!

If this account resonated with you or made you present to something in your life that you would like to share, please comment below. 

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