This blog talks about the one of the 12 habits holding women back as per the book “How women rise” by Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith.The habit is “Expecting others to spontaneously notice and reward your contributions.”
If you are anyone like me, you would keep your nose close to the grindstone, get so busy chiselling your work to perfection, that lifting your head up and inviting attention to your masterpiece seems like blasphemy. I mean, after working so much on my work, you now expect me to work on marketing it too? Well …. yes.
The big insight in this chapter was that the common female strategy of working as hard as possible and trusting that would get you noticed on its own (versus speaking up about your contributions), is a key impediment to rise of women in leadership positions.
Irrespective of the reason why we don’t take credit for our achievements (be it our modesty or having misplaced expectations that others should notice outstanding work on their own), failing to communicate the value of what we are doing, sends a message that we don’t value it. We also indicate that we are ambivalent about getting ahead. If we are ambivalent, why should anyone stick his neck out to support us? Moreover, Marshall Goldsmith observes, that men often view women who are averse to claiming their achievements as inauthentic, falsely humble or lacking in commitment. Now why would we let our behaviour support such negative perception!
Overcoming this requires a shift in our attitude towards claiming credit and also taking some practical steps.
Let’s address the attitude first. If highlighting your key achievements to your manager feels like being pompous and you take refuge in being a “good human being” by letting your work speak for itself, then you are in the “either / or” trap. You are stuck between two extremes that leaves no way to gracefully share your achievements and feel joy in being acknowledged for them. Speaking up about what you contribute and detailing why you are qualified does not make you self-centred or self-serving. It sends a signal that you are ready to rise.
So how exactly should you go about communicating your achievements? Here are some practical steps:
Draft your mission statement aka your yardstick – No we are not talking about the wordy mission and vision statements that hang on walls. It is your personal goal that moves you. A crystal clear sense of what you are trying to do and why you are motivated to do it . It helps you to :
- Helps you clarify which opportunities you want to embrace and which you should let go of, therefore it is your “yardstick”
- Speak your truth powerfully and concisely
Marshall’s mission statement is, “Helping successful leaders achieve positive, lasting change in behaviour.”
My mission statement, “Helping marketers leverage technology to create value to end consumers”
Your elevator pitch : The elevator pitch is the tactical version of a mission or vision statement. This is a personal articulation of purpose that declares what you are trying to achieve in the world. A clear concise statement that says:
- what you do now
- Emphasises what you want to do in future
- Why are you qualified to do it
Example : A bank analyst of Middle Eastern origin found himself with a senior executive in the elevator. When asked what he did at the bank, the analyst replied without a moment’s hesitation that he was an analyst, his goal was to lead a telecom investment team in Middle East Asia, and noted ties between his country of origin and the region he hoped to work in as well as two key relationships that would be useful. Then he stopped speaking and handed his card to the executive. This took less than a minute. The result was that the senior executive offered to get him introduced to the contacts and gave him access to reach out to him. The analyst had clearly given thought to every word and thoroughly rehearsed it. He did not ramble on or gave unrequired explanations.
An elevator pitch :
- Allows you to show you are ambitious and focused on achieving something specific
- Gives you an opportunity to talk about your skills or background in a way that aligns with what could be useful to the organisation, not just now but in years ahead
- Gives you a chance to show that you are thoughtful, reflective and concise
Accept credit when it comes your way : Many women are in the habit of turning the spotlight onto others. If we are complemented about something either we highlight how we can further improve it or give credit to someone else or make it sound that it’s no big deal at all.
How about the next time credit come your way, you simply say thank you and stop. Of course, give due credit where it is called for, but stop undermining your inputs. No ”thank you ….we got lucky with the weather.” Or “thank you…. Anyone could have done what I did”. No deferrals, protestations or false modesty. Just “thank you”.
Don’t be shy to use “I” – Women often talk about their achievement using collective pronouns such as “we succeeded”, “our endeavour.” While being a team player is great but take the time to bring the spotlight to your specific contributions as well.
Reason to succeed – While transforming your mindset and actions, when the inner voice makes it difficult to carry on, it helps to think in terms of “why” it matters that you get ahead. What motivates you in your quest? If simply reaching the top of the hierarchical peat isn’t enough, may be something else gets you going.
- May be you want to inspire you kids
- May be you want to give something to your parents to feel proud about
- May be you are convinced that your company would benefit if more women held high positions
- May be your company can benefit by having someone with your emotional IQ at the top
Please note, none of these are self-serving reasons. But they may be reasons that motivate you. Keep them in mind when the next time you deflect credit for your achievement. The world can benefit from your success.
Would love to hear what opened up for you with this blog. Hope you get busy crafting your own mission statement and elevator pitch.
Look forward to your comments.
Cheers.
Bridge to leadership 
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